While in antiquity sexual freedom flourished, what we know mainly from the pictures of Roman orgies or celebration of Greek Olympics, the modern view of sex became much more restricted.
Seks and intimate bahaviour have been a taboo topic for centuries, rarely discussed in public or in the so-called alcove. Because it is embarrassing to talk about it. Fortunately, our culture is gradually changing and more and more people are opening up to a topic that is a basic instinct for humans, but also an energetic experience that affects physical and mental health. The increase in awareness and the desire to develop in the sphere of one's own sexuality means that more and more of us are no longer afraid to get to know our bodies, accept it and discover  discover what until recently was treated as forbidden.

In our series "About body awareness" we invite you to read an interview with Gosia Dembska, a sexological body therapist who works both individually and with couples in an extremely subtle way.

What is sexological work with the body?

GD: As sex therapists of the body, we do not work with the body itself, but we connect the body, emotions and soul. For me, it is this combination of these elements that makes the real, truest sense and gives the best results. By working with the mind and physicality at the same time, we are able to release effectively from the body all suppressed emotions, traumas and hard experiences that are recorded in it. That is why I am very happy that there are more and more of us in Poland and that this profession, although new, is becoming more and more popular.

Do you notice that Polish people are more and more open, they are not so prudish anymore, they open up to their own body and body in general.

GD: Yes, sexuality is no longer taboo. In the past, going out to people with any problem was associated with a lot of resistance and judgement about what the other person would think of us. And now we are opening up more and more and actually, with the right support, we are able to deal with more problems.

How do you work with the person who comes to you?

GD: This is a very broad question. Each of us struggles with different topics and these are no longer taboo topics, but stories to work through. The moment when, apart from talking, we also include the body to work, magic begins to happen. We therapists have a lot of tools that we can offer the patient. In addition to the possibility of performing massage in various configurations, we support ourselves with relaxation techniques that are helpful in opening the body to various types of sensations. In cases where blockages are so deep that talking alone is not enough, we can use relaxation techniques, which are a lot. Just touch, massages of various kinds, techniques of disarming the body, mapping, work wonders. We individually choose a specific path.

What are these disarming and body mapping techniques?

GD: Disarming the body is releasing energy blockages. These are points on the body that, when properly pressed, are responsible for releasing emotions that are often deeply buried in us. I have experienced this experience many times, and more than once I was surprised how many such tensions we have deeply rooted somewhere in us. So old that we think it's OK, and here someone presses one point, and we suddenly fall apart and gather again.

Mapping is an acupressure of the private parts. This is still a very deep topic and can be difficult for many people, but it is helpful as a work with the traumas of various types of abuse that also record themselves in the body. This is not only therapy, but also hygiene. As therapists, we also work on fascia, including the pelvic floor muscles, which affect the feeling of sexual satisfaction.

What else is important during the session?

GD: It's important to be open to changes and ready to explore your body. You lie down, I work, remembering that I always care about respecting boundaries and my attention to your "no", because during this therapy you set the boundaries. In all sexological work, when we work with the body, the most important thing is the comfort of the person who is experiencing it.

What does such a session look like for you?

GD: Every session is different. It all depends on where the problem lies. Therefore, each time I talk to the client what she/he would like to work on. I choose the right path for her/him. Very often, someone comes to a specific session and their body is not ready for it yet. In this case, we can start with a massage, relaxation, so as to move the energy flows, and learn how to work properly with the breath.

How important is it to develop body awareness in the whole process?

GD: Body awareness is very important. Sometimes it takes several sessions to get to this point. Starting with the fact that you have to undress, you break your first barriers. When mapping the body, we work with intimate places, so it is natural that we work naked. Everything takes place in an intimate atmosphere and a sense of security.

When it comes to massages, they can be done naked or in underwear. When we are aware of the body, we are able to receive its messages. It is very important that we are able to read the needs of our body and consciously satisfy them.

How popular is your profession in Poland?

GD: Body sex therapy is an increasingly evolving profession. In my opinion, however, it is still too little known and I would like people to be ready to reach out for help and open up to it with my help.

Does work with the patient take place only in the office?

GD: Meeting in the office is of great value to me, because this is where we start to create a space that is safe for you and most of our meetings take place here. I teach how to release blockages and emotions so that a person can also work alone at home. Sometimes I give homework to maintain regularity ;)

Intuitive dance, working with music, drums - are these all your passions?

GD: My greatest passion has always been music. That's why I combined what I love the most and started teaching intuitive dance. For me, this is an amazing form of feeling your own body, when without learned movements and arrangements you can free your thoughts and hear yourself. As a musician and DJ, I attach great importance to the selection of appropriate sounds to stimulate the body and soul on various levels. When conducting classes with women, dancing together, talking and drinking cocoa - we celebrate life, and I can see how much joy it gives us - this is my true passion.

Do you also have male patients?

GD: It's interesting that most of my patients have been men lately. Working with them is very interesting and completely different than working with women. It's a completely different energy. Men are beginning to want to understand themselves. I am very happy that there are more and more of them and they want to consciously work on their emotions.

There are more and more people who care about the relationship with themselves, as well as the relationship in a relationship. Does communication between a woman and a man matter?

GD: I believe that every relationship starts with a relationship with yourself. If we take care of our relationship with ourselves and know our bodies, it will be much easier for us to understand our partner and talk to him about sexual desires. In my opinion, intimacy, which is not necessarily sex, is extremely important in a relationship with a partner. The opportunity to open up, to talk about your weaknesses - this is the greatest intimacy for me. If we can adjust and talk about this, it's really beautiful, and I wish it to everyone.

Gosia Dembska - sexological body therapist, behavioural relaxation techniques therapist, psychological therapist and sexological coach. She conducts individual and group sessions based on music therapy, breathing sessions and relaxation through touch, body work and intuitive dance.
She has been associated with music for years, playing percussion instruments through the rhythm puts the soul and body in motion. For years, she has been working with women in various professional spheres. With their energy, strength and everything that made them give her the power to help others and discover the satisfaction of life. It helps people to be happy in relationships, being in themselves and sex.